San Francisco – A Tale of a Different Kind of City

I have to admit, I had very little in terms of preconceived notions for San Francisco.  I guess my previous lack of desire to visit the US had made my brain lazy in thinking about these sorts of things.  Not knowing what to expect though helped me observe the place for how it presented itself.  And boy did it present itself! 

San Fran (SF) is not the sparkling postcard of a city.  It is far from it.  I couldn’t and still can’t believe the number of homeless, crazy and drugged out people that roam the streets of the city.  At one moment in time you could be walking through the cities down town streets past Gucci, Prada, etc and in the space of a block you are in what is termed a micro ghetto.  The crazy people are crazy for sure but also surprisingly polite and keen to verbalise a constructive comment.  My friend Toni who I was visiting can attest to this.  Quite often we would be walking down the road only to have people comment positively on her dress, hair, tattoos or anything other they could visually grab onto.   As for the entertainment value of it all, well that was there for sure. 

On my first lunch in the city I saw a guy clearly spacing on something a little stronger than herbal tea.  He came to the window of the diner where we sat dressed in multi-coloured polka dot black spandex pants, a tee shirt, high top sneakers and all while rocking a big thick blue sweat band across his forehead.  Atop his upper lip was a thick green two piece moustache tattoo.  This bloke was energetic to say the least and inside his brain he was clearly bouncing to some imaginary break dancing beats.  Sitting in front of the diner he prepped a table to eat the KFC he bought from down the street.  Prepping consisted of a whole lot of break dancing separated by hoovering the table clean with his mouth....  Afterwards he played a little hide and seek with his food, danced again, regathered and start eating....  This was no exaggeration the norm in terms of the level of crazy on display.

Atop the crazies, the streets were littered with people begging, talking to themselves, sleeping, dressed in pimp suits, animal skins, wearing tales and so on, so forth.  The locals were quite used to this kind of stuff that nothing really struck them as outrageous anymore.  You could walk around doing almost anything and people would address you with a straight face.  I was not in Kansas anymore!

Even the less obvious conversations could be amazingly entertaining.  One day while walking to down town Berkeley from Toni’s house we overheard a regular looking guy trying to pick up a girl who clearly knew he was punching above his weight.  The conversation went a little like this:  Guy: “You’re a very good looking girl.  I’m looking to only date good looking girls because ugly girls just bring you down.  They are soooo depressing.  You see, this is why I would like to date someone like you.  You’re very good looking”.  Best pick up line ever!  Toni couldn’t control herself from yelling a loud “WTF!”  I just broke down laughing.  Unperturbed, the guy proceeded to ask what the girl was doing later.  I don’t know if this actually worked for him.  I have seen stranger things happen in SF.  One thing is for sure, people really don’t hold back here!

But with all this happening people are super friendly and ridiculously polite.  This was not only evident in SF, but also all around it.  The customer service we found to be amazing.  The constant conversations we had with many a stranger was a joy as there was usually no setup. People would just freely talk to you about anything and everything.

The people dynamic was not only limited to the streets either.  Toni told me she lived in a Co-Op.  I just nodded and pretended I knew what this was but I had no idea.  Now I do....  Basically it is a big share house which in this case was full of hippies.  Out front were the chickens and a forest of edible fruit and veg.  There were apple trees, plum trees, blueberry and raspberry bushes, leafy greens, herbs and so on.  It was actually almost enough to sustain the house.  Did I mention the place was full of hippies though.  About 17 of them in total.  The conversations I had were great.  The most memorable was when I asked one of the guys how his day was.  He replied “it has been a beautiful day” before looking off toward the sun (directly at the sun actually) and reverting to silence for the next 3 minutes.  Best conversation ever!  Bloody hippies.

The Co-Op.

All the house members were friendly enough but damn were they odd.  The blokes lacked the one hormone men need to be men, testosterone, while the women had way too much hair.  I was told by at least one girl there that I balanced the house out.  And it is not because I lack hair....  I think my levels of enthusiasm and emotion were a bit too much for this placid crowd making for some interesting scenarios.

And the craziness kept on coming.  On the 5^th day we stumbled upon a street party to celebrate Juneteenth, an African American freedom celebration day.  We first got a run down on it from the two African American guys who were cutting my hair earlier that morning.  I had been told to ask them to give me some “swagga” with my hair style and they obliged.  Not paying too much attention I came out with a goatee a mirror image of what the guy cutting my hair was supporting....  In hind sight I should have thought that one through....  Eh, what the hell though.  I was hungry and the street party had food so off we went.  At one end of the party was a large stage with an African American reverend preaching some words in a very stereotypical manner.  At the end of his speech he introduced the next band to take the stage.  The lead vocalist was a large African American women and she was supported by three backup singers and a male vocalist on the bass.  The male vocalist started in a deep slow voice carrying on about the female butt.  Next thing we know, the lead singer and back up vocalists are chorusing “You gots ta, gots ta, gots ta do it in the butt!”  Annnnd I didn’t see that one coming!  There were all these old largish women around us wiggling their butts in tune with the song having a great old time to the pleasure of the surrounding men.  I just stood there with my mouth open looking like I had been hit with a wet fish.    

If I was to summarise my whole first week it would seem on paper like not too much happened.  But this is far from the truth.  I was more than entertained by the simple day to day happenings around me as I toured the city sights.  This was nothing like I had really seen before and there was a huge novelty factor.  The food was good although a little large and rich, the coffee was ordinary despite the hype and the people were loud in more ways than one.  I can see how the novelty of it all could wear off though and if it did it would become a little taxing.    

A Zachary's Chicago style pizza.  Heeeuuuuge!

And then there was the GLBT quarter at Castro.  Openly proud.

 One of many other signs.